I know it is a state of human existence to periodically do something that is just completely and utterly horrible by complete and total accident.
Today's *facepalm* is brought to you by:
3) My phone anti-social nature
When these three forces collide, obviously, hell breaks loose.
I, of all people, know how much other people put up with to be friends with me. I know I can be annoying, and frankly to be in my presence one has to drive because I don't (due to a fear of my dyslexic brain confusing the gas and break pedal--which has happened on more than one occasion.)
So, today is the day after an extremely fabulous day with my good friend who will now be referred to as GF. So yesterday's soiree luncheon was pinch-me-I-might-be-dreaming cool. I met some cool Hollywood people and politicians and it was crazy. Something I never would have dreamed of otherwise. We are just a great team. I adore the time we spend together, we work well together and have fun together. We considered it my big birthday treat, since GF hadn't had a chance to do anything for my 40th with me. Words cannot express how much fun we had. Once-in-a-lifetime memorable.
That being said, I am not a phone person and GF totally is. Generally speaking, I basically put up with phones out of necessity. While others feel very connected by phones I never do. I often feel kind of burdened by too many phone calls. But for friends, I suck it up most of the time. I remind myself that I am at times irritating and annoying, and if phones are the price I pay to keep in touch and foster friendships I do. I just run out of things to talk about on the phone much, much faster than any of my friends do.
I even have one friendship that takes place *entirely* by phone, and frankly I'm glad he doesn't call more than once or at the most twice per week, because even then I feel at a loss for things to talk about. In reality I can't handle the lack of visual rhythm and body language. With speaking in person or videochat I can take rhythms from things that are happening around me and continue conversation with a glance, a breath, art on the walls, or something on a video screen in the bar. With email, I can bend words to my will and be much more thoughtful, expressive and responsive.
So, when you combine the three facepalm sponsors of the day, what you get is what happened a little while ago. GF decides to call me. GF thinks that they are going to get bright, chipper, fun-loving Sara. Sara has just finished watching a movie and is feeling completely ick in the livingroom with whole family. Sara feels anti-social. Sara's evil twin is playing the part of her right now. Sara gets GF's phonecall and thinks she's hit the "reject" button to send GF to voicemail for now.
Instead, apparently Dyslexia has caused Sara to send GF to speakerphone. So then, Sara confesses to family that she has changed the ringtone on her phone to something different to not get sick of her current ringtone, and feels that GF is a co-dependent friend.
Two seconds later, Sara gets text from GF. "You think I am a co-dependent friend?"
OH. MY. LORD.
When I call to apologize, GF apologizes for being co-dependent. Apparently GF has been told this before. And all this the DAY AFTER THE DAY OF AWESOME. Way to go, Sara. Way. To. Go.
I feel about this big right now.
While GF has said "no worries" after spending past couple hours groveling, I'm trying to remind myself that we all do really stupid ass things now and then. That we hurt the people we care about the most often unintentionally.
Other lessons I can learn from this include:
- Make sure friends know your feelings about how you communicate and that it is no reflection on them. Really, I can cite my family as a source on this one.
- Make sure you emphasize that it's not them it's totally you.
- Make sure you press the right buttons on your cell phone.
- Try to comfort yourself by knowing that we all really screw up at some point in our relationships. It's human nature.
But in the meantime, I'll reside in a blog sackcloth and ash for a while. Don't mind me.