Wednesday, January 22, 2014
My Fat Fatwa: Finding Motivation
I swear, the past twenty-four hours have been hellish.
As far as I knew, Weight Watchers was *not* supposed to feel like this.
Here's the deal: I was expecting to feel obnoxious. I've been at the beginning of a major dietary coup before. I know I wasn't supposed to feel all sunshine and rainbows. But, come on! The problem is, that for a few days now, since I started my campaign, I have been famished. It's not that I am starving myself. We had a pretty good stock pile of frozen veggies and fresh fruits. And I have been hitting those like a madwoman. And no matter how much of those I ate, it wouldn't be terribly long before they would be gone, and I would feel like I hadn't eaten anything at all. Nothing. It was freaking awful.
When you go to bed and wake up feeling like you want to gnaw your own arm off, something is amiss. For a while I was wondering if the whole experience was going to be like this. Am I going to just continue to feel like an emotional wreck? And will people allow me to be grumpy?
Really the happy pappy dieting success people were getting on my nerves too. Can I not just be allowed to be grumpy? Can't we all just allow each other to be grumpy at least in the beginning?
I think we should allow ourselves to feel awful without retribution. Why do we expect that we have to feel one way or another? Why do we feel it necessary to require others to feel happy, pumped, or on fire? I would argue that each individual needs to process an experience individually.
Still, I would like to feel better and not feel like I was ravenously hungry all the time. I was going through all the usual suspects. I was using all my Weight Watchers points. That was the problem the last time I tried doing the WW thing about 7 years ago. I would not use all my points and not only would I not lose weight, I'd feel like ass all the time. But that's not the case here. I had been loading on all my zero point, power foods that they recommended.
I was eating better. What the heck was going on here?!!!
Then it hit me: carbs and sugar.
The natural progression, because sugar and carbs have a tendency to scarf up points like nothing else, was to avoid those things. And this is good. A good transition to make. But my body was obviously going into shock. I was having my own little biological nervous breakdown for lack of scones and sandwiches and things that had sugar and empty carbs coming out the wazoo.
So I got myself a sandwich at lunch. On a whole wheat, denser and more fiber-filled bun. A lean barbecue chicken sandwich. And while I felt a little on the tired side, it was SO MUCH BETTER than what I felt like before.
On top of this, I was able to do a Trader Joe's run, where my family helped me stock the cupboard, freezer, and fridge with an array of interesting foods. I have soups I have never tried before, and multi-rice dishes, and fiber-rich snacks and healthy bread. All ways to round out the diet where I was lacking and get a little adventurous. I also picked up kumquats (which I had never tried before) and blood oranges (which I also haven't tried.)
Here is my thought: if I have to upend my dietary life, let's try something completely different. Let's do a little culinary off-roading and see what happens?