tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1686534002753263075.post3744509756670289259..comments2015-04-02T02:35:14.347-07:00Comments on Que Sara, Sara: Don't blame it on your virginityAnonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16896905033728859809noreply@blogger.comBlogger6125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1686534002753263075.post-25733698441176394962013-09-16T16:42:03.640-07:002013-09-16T16:42:03.640-07:00Exactly. :) Here, here!Exactly. :) Here, here!Anonymoushttps://www.blogger.com/profile/16896905033728859809noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1686534002753263075.post-31665446927389885842013-09-16T16:39:59.389-07:002013-09-16T16:39:59.389-07:00Thanks, Cousin. I'm glad you agree that the is...Thanks, Cousin. I'm glad you agree that the issue had nothing to do with her virginity.<br /><br />"Sex is not the end-all be-all of a relationship"<br /><br />I sympathize with those who have had too much emphasis placed on virginity with threat of hellfire to keep them in line, but I also sympathize with those who chose a balanced celibate life until a meaningful relationship comes along and get maligned for it.<br /><br />I remember an episode of Oprah where she had an "expert" who claimed that if someone hadn't had sex by X age, they were likely asexual or had some other total sexual dysfunction. <br /><br />I call BS. And concur that way too much emphasis is placed on sex as the be-all and end-all. <br /><br />Just as anyone can be a vegan or refrain from alcohol, exercise or not, we are the keeper of our bodies and should not be looked down upon for what we eat or drink, or whether we are or are not having sex.<br /><br /><br />Anonymoushttps://www.blogger.com/profile/16896905033728859809noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1686534002753263075.post-87011675844090711912013-09-16T10:03:35.661-07:002013-09-16T10:03:35.661-07:00I am a person who likes to try things before she b...I am a person who likes to try things before she buys them because I hate getting stuck with that bag of chips that sounded good but it was totally gross. That being said, I don't necessarily think that someone should hang the responsibility of the success of a relationship purely on sex. I will say that I have felt a lot of the feelings that the girl described and I get where she is coming from. However, I don't think that it can all be blamed on not sampling the goods prior to. Because sex changes over the course of a marriage/relationship. There are highs and there are lows. She had cold feet prior to the wedding and that should have told her something. Vomiting was a clear sign. I walked down the aisle with no alarm bells ringing in my head (but even though it didn't work out, I count him as one of my best friends and clearly it was the right choice at the time. I wouldn't be where I am today without him--the good, the bad, and the ugly on both parts). I wasn't a virgin when we got married. We had had sex before the nuptials and it still came to the same result as the author of the other blog's did. <br /><br />Basically, I think that someone should do what is right for them. Maintain your virginity if it's what you want to do. Sex does confuse things but it also sort of smooths out the little things that bug you about the other person. If you're not having it and it's not good, it is just constant grating. Heatherlyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/08744314024756160663noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1686534002753263075.post-50862112158397081282013-09-16T04:18:54.053-07:002013-09-16T04:18:54.053-07:00I think sex is just one variable in the complicate...I think sex is just one variable in the complicated algorithm of relationships. Sex can clarify or cloud the judgement, depending on the nature of both the relationship and where one sits on the time scale of life. For most, sex gets better over time anyway, as you learn yourself and your partner. It's difficult for me to believe that just having sex with this guy from age 18 to 20 would have insulated her from deciding to marry the "wrong guy". If things were that simple we would have a lot less divorce in this world. I'm Anonymoushttps://www.blogger.com/profile/16206086097257524007noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1686534002753263075.post-78634100950671073552013-09-16T03:55:03.971-07:002013-09-16T03:55:03.971-07:00Honestly, I think too much pressure is put on wome...Honestly, I think too much pressure is put on women to be virginal. We have a lot firsts in our lives. Why is one natural, physical act put on so high a pedestal? It's certainly not treated the same for boys. I'm a big fan of "try it before you buy it"! Sex is not the end-all be-all of a relationship, but it's nice to have some spice there if you're going to be spending the rest of your life with them.<br /><br />No, I think the bigger problem here is that this girl was not given the option of saying no. I am making an assumption about the magazine article author here but I've seen it so many times. Girls are generally raised and conditioned to be compliant. To do what their parents and eventually their husbands tell them to do. She was guilted into that marriage even though her head and heart were telling her no. I can agree that this issue has nothing to do with her virginity but everything to do with being a 20 year old child who hadn't grown into her own opinions yet.Nemosynehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/05410740814729821232noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1686534002753263075.post-69711663147271079102013-09-16T03:53:53.137-07:002013-09-16T03:53:53.137-07:00Honestly, I think too much pressure is put on wome...Honestly, I think too much pressure is put on women to be virginal. We have a lot firsts in our lives. Why is one natural, physical act put on so high a pedestal? It's certainly not treated the same for boys. I'm a big fan of "try it before you buy it"! Sex is not the end-all be-all of a relationship, but it's nice to have some spice there if you're going to be spending the rest of your life with them.<br /><br />No, I think the bigger problem here is that this girl was not given the option of saying no. I am making an assumption about the magazine article author here but I've seen it so many times. Girls are generally raised and conditioned to be compliant. To do what their parents and eventually their husbands tell them to do. She was guilted into that marriage even though her head and heart were telling her no. I can agree that this issue has nothing to do with her virginity but everything to do with being a 20 year old child who hadn't grown into her own opinions yet.Nemosynehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/05410740814729821232noreply@blogger.com